Vasectomies for bachelors.

Discussion in 'The Man Cave' started by Giada, May 29, 2017.

  1. Giada MAGA

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  2. Johnson HEIL HITLER.

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  3. Georg Schoenerer Der Judenkenner

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    Hey, back in the day I've been there..., but I was never enough of a slut to warrant snippage.

    Not a condom user either, so I've haven't had to worry about where the thing ends up. I have experienced pretend-swallowers who surreptitiously allowed their "drool" to lubricate progressively lower.

    I've also been suspicious if, after pull-out, this position is maintained for more than a few seconds:

    [IMG]

    In either case, my response is to march them to the hot tub or draw them a scalding bath.

    ...
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  4. 4PortHub Forum Veteran

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    I can see the rich Hampton men's point (NO pun intended) but it made me wish that it were the stupider among us who would consider it trendy to have the surgery.
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  5. Mandalore in recovery from sobriety

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    I could never go under the knife voluntarily. That's just sick. There's only one truly reliable method of birth control, and that's anal sex.

    I'm too selfish and irresponsible to even bother pulling out unless she essentially begs for it in her mouth or somehow earns my respect beforehand. Whether she's ecstatic, scared or furious about it, its just too much goddamn fun to have her on her back and see the look on her face when she realizes you're blowing a load inside her.

    Women who insist on condoms are always neurotic bitches that aren't much fun anyway. Seriously; you can fucking tell who has an STD and who doesn't. And any decent girl will be grateful that you're considerate enough to pull out and offer one of her other receptacles. At this point in life, I probably would just leave if its like that. Bitch, if I wanted to wrap my cock in rubber and masturbate, I'd stay at home and buy one of those Fleshlight things.
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  6. Giada MAGA

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    :facepalm:

    God bless you, @Mandalore, that's why have you a mini me. :)
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  7. Mandalore in recovery from sobriety

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    I actually went back and deleted the part where I said, "That's why I just finished making little swords for Barbie and Ken out of an old hacksaw blade".

    It often feels like she's the only thing I ever did right in life, yet other days I think, "If I had only fucked her mother in the ass a couple times on that day 6 years ago..."
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  8. Giada MAGA

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    Children are a blessing.

    But, in about 10-12 years, your life is going to be turned upside down by her.
    Unless you turn into one of those crazy YouTube dads. lol.
  9. Mandalore in recovery from sobriety

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    Going to be turned upside down? You can't even imagine just how bad my child already is. There's no way she'll make it to high school without being arrested and making at least a couple attempts on my life. Shit, first assault charge for me was around age 9, and I was nowhere near this bad.
  10. Giada MAGA

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    How bad can a 5 year old girl be?
    Assault at age 9?

    Save up up for bail money and birth control, don't want to have to call you Grandpa Mandalore in 10 years. :)

    What age do they start those HPV vaccinations for kids? 11 or 12, better keep on top of that.
    https://www.cdc.gov/hpv/parents/vaccine.html
  11. Mandalore in recovery from sobriety

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    She's given me a couple split lips and a bloody nose in the past month alone. Calling me stupid gets her a red hand print on the backside, so now she calls me "Mr. Not Smart". The cats at her mother's house stay under the couch when she's in the room, and our parakeets pecked a hole through the screen and flew away. The dogs are grateful for attention even if it means playing rough, and even the grandmothers agree that the bunny had a right to give her a nip on the hand for trying to pick him up. Anyone except for me gets a temper tantrum for not doing exactly what she says.
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  12. Giada MAGA

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    We'll just call you Grandpa Mandalore. :agree:
  13. fuz al-nufi Bar Regular

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    do u and ur woman live together mandy? Do u attempt a front of normalcy/unity for ur kid?
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  14. fuz al-nufi Bar Regular

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    on a side note when i was a bout 4yrs old i was hanging around with an older male cousin in his teens and his friends and they were all drinking. And one of his friends told me to punch him in the stomach as hard as i could and i punched him rite in the face and gave him a big black eye. I was living with my grandmother at the time and her husband hit me so fucking hard. I'm still bitter to this day.
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  15. Giada MAGA

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    @Mandalore
  16. rasputin Forum Veteran

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  17. Mandalore in recovery from sobriety

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    We don't live together at the moment, Fitz. There ain't no way we come across as normal, but we do "family" shit for the sake of the kid. And also because I prefer not to drive and to have someone else pay for everything. There are some rough spots, but she's mostly a happy, fearless child.

    My daughter inherited double copies of "the warrior gene". Extreme defiance and a somewhat violent disposition are prominent in both families. Her mother is even less responsive to pain and fear than I am. It pisses me off to no end that everyone else in the family is in denial about the kid's behavioral issues. She's beautiful, brilliant and charming, and that's all most people can see. I am the ONLY person who has any control over her, and only her teachers seem to understand that this is a child who needs someone to be afraid of.
  18. Giada MAGA

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    Everyone, but you, is terrified of a 5 year old child?

    You have a long 13 year a head of you.

    Forget the college fund, save bail money.
  19. Mandalore in recovery from sobriety

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    They're not terrified of her. They just let her do whatever the fuck she wants and take orders from her. Not that she would normally listen if they ever made an effort. Just smiles, tells you, "I'm sorry", makes up some sort of creative excuse, promises to never do it again and then she usually starts giggling while staring you in the eye.
  20. Giada MAGA

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    You know that's not normal, right?

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