Tales From the Darkside: Close Encounters of the Turd Kind

Discussion in 'Boogie Town' started by Jaybird, May 11, 2010.

  1. Jaybird Guest

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    Please post any amusing/horrifying experiences you've had with African-Americans.


    Today I was cut off in traffic by a Cadillac driving erratically. About a minute later, the passenger window rolls down and out comes the litter, including an aluminum can. I was far enough behind that I decided to see what kind of malt liquor these jigs were guzzling. To my surprise, it "weren't" malt liquor. No, it was grape soda.
  2. Mandalore in recovery from sobriety

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    A few days ago this obese caricature of a nigger sow got into the swimming pool at the Y. She had a metallic neon green swimsuit in a tiger stripe pattern. Apparently they make giant size inflatable water wings, because she had a pair. She also had a floatation belt, flippers, a snorkel and a diving mask. You know those little float tubes with an animal head on it? The nigger had somehow managed to squeeze one of those around her substantial waist. AND a fucking foam kickboard. She left a slick of Jheri Curl -or whatever "hygiene" products she used- floating on top of the water.
  3. billy_boatrocker Virtue Signaler

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    I was in a used CD store the other day at about two pm, it's a big place which you may know of if you're familiar with the Portland area. When I walked in the store it had about maybe 6 or 7 human customers and I was walking around looking for a CD I wanted when I hear this nigger whine coming from near the counter. While I was looking around a big silverback in a baggy leather coat had come in and was axin the counter guy if he had some CD by Jermaine Jackscoon, he was going on and on shuckin and jivin and talking way too loud. The counter guy looked a little annoyed. Finally the penny dropped and I realized "this nigger is maybe wanting to rob this place." I look around and see another nigger on the other side of the store that I hadn't noticed. My spidey sense and nigdar is clangin, and at this point I was annoyed at myself for losing my situational awareness. I was near the back off the store so I quickly went over by a door near to the rear office area in case one or both of the niggers pulls out a piece. My plan was to nip through the door and call the cops. Unfortunately I didn't have my cel phone on me! Shit. I was uncomfortable with this nigger who appeared to be high and talking about Jermane Jackscoon and walking around all weird like. I'm standing by the door near the back office and keeping my eye on the niggers ready to GTFO of there. Then the big silverback axes about a Roy Orbison CD!!!! WTF? I could hear it all the way from the front of the store. Finally after what seemed like a long time the silverback leaves without buying anything. I dunno, it may have been casing the place for a robbery but maybe felt there were too many humans in the store? Just some random nigger on drugs? Apparently the other nigger wasn't with him. Thankfully I don't have a lot of coontact with groids so I guess my nigdar was in 'stand-by" mode instead of fully on. Don't ever lose that situational awareness. If that nigger had pulled out a gun and robbed the store I would have been really mad at myself for not picking up on it sooner. Nothing happened but I got a wake up call. I really need to get my concealed carry.
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  4. Bluto Drunken lout

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    Boatrocker learned a couple o' o'er important lessons- from time to time, niggers likes to take time off from bein' criminals and niggers don't necessarily know every nigger in da area.
  5. fips Terroriste

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    .

    Sorry, with her first bath in two weeks, that was skin grease.

    .
  6. Jaybird Guest

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    I was just at the bank, standing in line with all kinds of turd world midgets, when in strolls this 6'5" cracked out obese version of Frederick Douglass, same exact hair and everything. Actually, I had seen him previously walking around town and I cannot tell if he is homeless or just a complete nutjob nigger. He looks around to see if he's spotted and heads straight for the john to take a shit. Several minutes pass, I'm still in line, and the nigger arises from his throne. He takes another peek around to make sure no one is looking and heads for the help desk where there is a large bowl of assorted candy. He rifles through it for a second, keeping an eye out for the banksters until he finds what he came for. Raising it above his head, like King Arthur pulling Excalibur from the stone, he holds up a lollipop in victory. Peeling it from its wrapper, sticking it in his mouth, he tosses the wrapper on the floor, strolls out and starts singing the classic Chordettes tune:

  7. billy_boatrocker Virtue Signaler

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    Now that's some niggertainment! At least it's potty trained and didn't do it on the sidewalk.
  8. SouthernStar Forum Veteran

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    Like in India, sweet billy? There's a place in Fordsburg, Johannesburg called The Oriental Plaza. I buy curtains there at excellent prices. They have signs all over saying 'NO SPITTING. You will be prosecuted.'
  9. Jaybird Guest

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    I forgot to add, that since I was surrounded by Central Americans with no grasp of the English language, they all looked at me thinking I was crazy for laughing uncontrollably at the nigger antics I had just witnessed.
  10. SouthernStar Forum Veteran

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    Whoo hoo. You had fun, hey??? Lol.
  11. billy_boatrocker Virtue Signaler

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    I was in Rite Aid yesterday, the line was pretty long and a couple Mexcrement sows were in front of me discussing the merits of their purchases if they should pay $1.39 or go big for the $2.99 item or if they should get something else. The one with the huge turdlet stroller was sending the other one back and forth to get other items. They love to do that, one shops right up until they get to the checkout counter while the other one covers their place in line. Never would occur to them to shop, get all you want to buy, THEN get in line. Then I had a yuppie negress with a son behind me. Actually they were far less annoying than the spics. So the spics pay, (finally) and they back out of the line walking into me while the negress walks forward into me not seeing that the spics are blocking me. Metaphor for present day America, the whiteman getting squeezed. No "excuse me's". So I pay and as I'm walking out a chink grandma is trying to take a shopping cart out if the store except the cart has a tall piece of plastic pipe attached to it that wont let you get it under the door opening. (Probably to prevent hobo's from stealing the carts out of the store) after about three or four tries grandma still is not understand the situation and has a baffled look on her face. I'm standing there as are others waiting for her to get out of the way. Finally I just squeeze past her to let her figure it out at her leisure.

    I know this is Boogie Town but I wanted to post my mult-kulti Rite Aid adventure.
  12. NotBrownButSeedy Soldat's Prophet

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    It's these sorts of situations that get me in trouble. How did you not do anything?!

    I'd have been staring down the greasers, the goofy jugaboo would have gotten a minirant about looking where she was going and if I am just too translucent for her to see or something (always lovely when you can play the race card against the fuckers). Grandma might have gotten a sigh or something, depending on how much I consider her issue to be senility and not stupidity.

    People are so fucking rude it is insane.
  13. billy_boatrocker Virtue Signaler

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    It took a huge effort not to verbally bitch-slap the fuckers. It was on my lips.
  14. billy_boatrocker Virtue Signaler

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    OK. I've been holding off. Here's more. Not smoolies, but asian females, the worlds worst drivers. It was about 8 pm. and I was hungry, I was already in my jammies so I put on some sweats and walked over to Wendy's to get a large chile to go. I'm walking back and I cross the street on a green walk sign, I'm in the middle of the crosswalk and this young asian cunt in a white Camaro goes right by me. Bitch didn't even wait for me to get halfway across missed me by three feet. I was a bit annoyed. Then just when I thought she was gone she hangs a U-turn and comes back my way, (by this time I'm on the sidewalk watching this freakshow) and she parks along the curb about 20 feet away from me. OK, good, I think I wanna talk to this cunt a bit. I start off polite pointing out to her what she just did, eventually I realize from the bullshit excuses she is using that I aint gonna get through to her because she is far too wrapped up in her own little asian princess world to deign to notice somebody else exists in the world besides her. We get into a little bit of a heated exchange, a few by-standers are watching, I get a lot of asian princess attitude from her which soon devolves into a critique of my clothes, (sweats). My "old man" tennis shoes, etc. Eventually I say, "are you that fucking shallow that it would matter what clothes somebody was wearing?" The look on her chink face was priceless. Let me get this straight, "you would stop for a guy in a suit?" "But you'd almost run down someone else?" I said, "Bitch you're pathetic" and walked away.

    Just pointing out the obvious to her. Fucking self-absorbed chinks and automobiles, bad combo.
  15. MadScienceType Trumpenkrieg

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    You eat Wendy's chili? That's at least as dangerous as a zipperhead behind the wheel.
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  16. billy_boatrocker Virtue Signaler

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    I wuz hongry!
  17. NotBrownButSeedy Soldat's Prophet

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    Dip a double stack in that shit, good sir!
  18. Jaybird Guest

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    Holy crap. U R REICHSJAEGER! Did you spill it?
  19. Johnson джонсон

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    I haven't even seen a jig in over three weeks. It's been chilly.
  20. Apocales 4:35a.m. just one more episode..

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    One time I pulled up into a circle k with a truck when I had one. I think I only got a few hours sleep and needed one of those awful yet effective energy drinks. Some spic at the front of the line only had pennies, which made the line go slow as fuck, so whatever slight irritation. When I got back out to my truck, I saw a few beaners looking at the metal toolbox in the back of the truck. No doubt what goes on in the mind of a thieving beaner, but when you have 3-4 of them breck looking squatters at the back end nothing good can happen. So I kept an eye on them to a slight extent as I was stepping into my truck, then bam one jumps in the back of it. Not sure the goals of said brown animal, but I rolled down my window and yelled get the fuck out motherfucker. So...this fucker got out, but another one jumped in..I was like what the fuck..So I said fuck it and reversed back fast and was gonna take this spic for the joyride of hell. Thetr is a mini-highway or used to be that was called rollercoaster road, I was 3 miles from it. I was heading there to make this thing bounce out unintentionally, I was a few lights away from that little fun strip of road when the fucker jumped out of the truck. We were stopped at a red light, however the spic was "Jackie Channing" cars and running across the tops of hoods, the last car he ran across the driver pulled over and I think did a citizens arrest.
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