Discussion in 'The Brick Tavern' started by Apox, May 7, 2010.
Wow awesome thanks for posting that.
Tonight for instance we had a pleasure reaching experience enjoyed modestly and remotely by yours ever so truly.
grandmothra buk1 was tendering the overcooked dry turkey legs, the grandfather whom i cherish put too much nutmeg Cherilyn
on the zen and golden carrots. He set fire to the stovepipe, and raped himself.
Today, after trying to quit smoking for months, I broke down and bought a pack of cigarettes. While walking back to my car, I spotted $2 on the ground and without hesitation, I picked it up. I didn't realize until later that while I was rejoicing in my findings, I dropped my cigarettes, leaving me out $6. FML
LOL, Apoc. FML indeed!
My grade school friend invited me to her wedding which is gonna take place here... http://www.royalfaires.com/arizona/ . If I see any hooded fairies dressed in black with a hood I will be sure to kick in the nuts.
What's the Best Keyboard Ever?
Ever get a new computer look at the wimpy $5 keyboard included in the box and wonder... "Is there something better?"
You bet there is. It's not one of those oddly shaped ergonomic offerings from Microsoft or Logitec. Neither is it a keyboard loaded down with silly multi-media keys and flashy back-lighting. Nope, the Best Keyboard Ever Made is as plain looking and minimally featured as keyboards come...
My mom likes those kinds of keyboards. I prefer the touchtype ones so long as they are spaced correctly.
They are like 5 pounds and will slap the shit out of niggers!
Would the world be a better place if Ireland,Scotland,England,Wales never existed?
But then you'll get your ass beat and raped by some tattooed female linebacker.
I did not see The Libertine here, I was on the lookout for sure.
We're doomed - doomed!
Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to be a diplomat, I slowly say "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML
I'm on my way back from the liquor store this morning, and this fat chick that I vaguely know calls me over to her car to ask me about what kind of beer I had. I get to the car and I notice that she's with this scumbag asshole that owes me fourty dollars from several months ago. I couldn't care less about the money, it's this scumbag motherfucker that bothers me. I've ran into him a couple times over the past several months and he'd tell me that he'd stop by. He never stopped by. And I don't mind, because I know where he lives anyways. I would eventually get my retribution. Today was that day.
The stars align, God smiles at me and says, today is going to be a good day for you Fitz. That's when I ask the scumbag how's it going, long time no see, where is my money? He starts to play stupid, what money he says, i've stopped by with your money and you weren't home he says. He says if you want your money I can go get it right now he says. I tell him, I don't want your money you piece of shit. He gets out of his car talking mad shit to me, i'm just laughing at his old ass. Trolling him, I can feel the win, I can taste it.
He's coming at me ready to go, his whale of girlfriend is trying to stop him from coming at me. He swings at me three times, doesn't land a hit. I'm still laughing at him, taunting him, I let him grab my shirt. He hauls off like the stupid jackass that he is, I duck, and pummel the shit out of him left and right swinging. He drops to the ground and I still got a hold of him. I could finish him right there but I restrain myself. This really big guy that lives below me who was watching, breaks us up, but this fat headed old fuck is still trying to give er a go. His girlfriend and her friends are there all watching. He can't go down in such an embarrassing manner.
So the big guy sees that the old scumbag still wants to go, and is not going to listen to his pleas to stop. He gets out of our way. The scumbag starts picking up my spilled beers and hilariously throws them at me. He comes into me. I start feeding him shots all over again, to the face, body. He drops to the ground. Face full of blood, missing front teeth, probably has a broken nose. There is this fat kid crying his eyes out, and his fatass mother screaming at me. Saying stupid hysterical nonsense like, I can't believe you did that in front of my son! The kid was like twelve years old and was crying over a fist fight, I don't know what the hell his problem was. I loved fist fights when I was his age.
I then collect my four remaining unbusted beer, give the hysterical fat gypsy the finger, and I leave the scene. Cops came by, they wrote it up as a 'consensual fight'.
Perfect FML! :)
Fitz, you roll hard, boet! Winning!
Cops have changed over the years. They used to give gloves to young men, take 'em to the edge of town, stage a 'grudge match' and place bets on the winners. Excellent way to keep things under control, which are going to happen anyway. Ask anyone alive in the 60s and you will hear stories of cop run fights.
in ferro, veritas webpage: http://faculty.columbiabasin.edu/faculty/dabbott/Duello.html
My bike was stolen yesterday. I bought it in July and it cost me 7000 SKR. May the douche who stole it end up with it under an 18 wheeler.
May Alison end up under me.