MEXICANS Racial Characteristics: Resembling the Spanish in all their more loathsome characteristics except lazier, dirtier, and more thieving. A large percentage of American Indian blood in the average Mexican deprives him of any natural human sympathies or moral sense and makes him a wholly unmanageable drunk. The principal industry of Mexico is the production of pornographic playing cards that depict their women corrupting the morals of donkeys. Completely untrustworthy, the Mexican will make food out of anything that will hold still, feed it to you, and charge you for it besides. An attempt to conquer and hence eliminate this pesky breed of miscegenators was launched by our government during the last century, but wholesale nausea on the part of our troops, when they'd witnessed Mexican home life prevented our doing as thorough a job as we should have. Good Points: You can buy their twelve-year-old daughters. Proper Forms of Address: Wetback, beaner, chili-dipper, taco turd, flap hat. Three Important Questions Concerning the Mexican Economy: What do you call all thirty-eight members of a Mexican family packed into one Cadillac? Grand theft auto. How did they get all thirty-eight members of a Mexican family packed into one Cadillac? They picked the lock. What's hot on the outside, brown on the inside, and stinks like hell all over? All thirty-eight members of a Mexican family packed into one Cadillac.