Mexicant Humor Thread

Discussion in 'Mexi-Mayhem' started by Apocales, Sep 7, 2013.

  1. il ragno Proud American Deplorable

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    Some wheezing, liver-spotted, text-based Mexihate - a/k/a mira, homes, we kickin it old school!


    How do you get a Mexican woman pregnant?
    Jizz in her shoes; the flies will do the rest

    Why doesn't the state of Texas electrocute Mexican prisoners anymore?
    You ever try to put out a grease fire?

    Why did the Mexican stab his wife with a steak knife?
    He wanted tequila

    Why don't Mexicans marry Negroes?
    Because they consider blacks to be little better than animals

    What do you get when you cross a Mexican and a Chinaman?
    A restaurant owner who’s never washed his hands in his life

    Why do Mexicans love Cabbage Patch dolls?
    They come with birth certificates

    Why do Mexican women wear long dresses?
    To hide the pest strip

    Why don't Mexican children play hide and seek?
    Who’d look for them?

    How many Mexicans can you fit in a Pinto?
    Ten
    How do you get them in?
    Throw in a green card
    How do you get them out?
    Yell “green card!”

    Where do Mexicans get those thick bushy mustaches?
    From their mothers’ side

    Why were there 3,000 Mexicans at the Alamo?
    They only had four cars

    What do you call a Mexican in a two-story house?
    Adopted

    How many cops does it take to arrest a Mexican?
    Three. One to cuff the Mexican, and two to carry the oranges

    Why is there so little Mexican literature?
    Spray paint wasn't invented until 1943

    Why is the average Mexican soldier 40 years old?
    Because they take them right out of high school

    What do you call a Mexican after his vasectomy?
    Approved for citizenship

    Why is it morally wrong to push a car with three Mexicans in it off a cliff?
    Because it seats five, plus you can put small children in the trunk!

    What's a Mexican fortune cookie?
    A taco shell with a scratch-off ticket inside

    Why do Mexican girls wear panties?
    To keep their ankles warm

    Why did the Mexican cross the road?
    To get from the gas station to the orange groves

    What do you say to a Mexican in uniform?
    "Yo, ese, lemme get a Baconator with a large Coke"

    Did you hear about the two Mexicans on "Ripley’s Believe It or Not”?
    One had car insurance and the other practiced birth control

    What do you call a Mexican with an IQ of 176?
    You don't call him anything - you whistle when you want him to look up from the dishes

    What do you call four Mexicans in quicksand?
    Quatro cinco

    What do you call a romantic evening with a Mexican?
    Felony sexual assault

    What do you get when you cross an Arab with a Mexican?
    A terrorist who drives a fruit truck into the World Trade Center

    Why don't they teach driver's education and sex education on the same day in Mexico?
    So they don’t wear out the donkey

    Why do mexicans wear sombreros?
    So they have a place to rest their taco while they jimmy off your hubcaps

    Why doesn't Mexico ever host the Olympics?
    Because all the beaners that can run, jump, and swim are all here!

    What do you call a Mexican without a lawn mower?
    Naked

    Why doesn't Mexico have a Navy?
    Because cardboard doesn't float
  2. MadScienceType Trumpenkrieg

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    Trick question. They're born pregnant, like aphids.
  3. Prima Morte Saltine-American

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    Q. Why should you never run over a Mexican on a bicycle?
    A. Might be your bicycle.

    Q. What do you get when you cross a Mexican and a Mormon?
    A. A house with a year's supply of stolen groceries.

    Q.Why do all the Mexican high school girls end up pregnant?
    A. When they go to English class, the teacher tells them to go home and "do an ese."
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  4. MadScienceType Trumpenkrieg

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    What's the difference between Tejano and country music?
    None, Tejano is just played on stolen instruments.
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  5. Ozzy Bon Halen LOLworthy Threadmonkey & Critic Of Texas Dentistry

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    Tejano music was derived by mexicans from German Polka music.
    http://spanish.about.com/cs/culture/f/germanmusicqa.htm

    [IMG]
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  6. Ozzy Bon Halen LOLworthy Threadmonkey & Critic Of Texas Dentistry

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  7. Apocales 4:35a.m. just one more episode..

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    [IMG]
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  8. Ozzy Bon Halen LOLworthy Threadmonkey & Critic Of Texas Dentistry

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    [IMG]


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  9. billy_boatrocker Wartime Consigliere

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    How many Mexicans can you fit in a Pinto?
    Ten
    How do you get them in?
    Throw in a green card
    How do you get them out?
    Yell green card!” La Migra!
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  10. billy_boatrocker Wartime Consigliere

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  11. MadScienceType Trumpenkrieg

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  12. Ozzy Bon Halen LOLworthy Threadmonkey & Critic Of Texas Dentistry

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  13. Ozzy Bon Halen LOLworthy Threadmonkey & Critic Of Texas Dentistry

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  14. john z. whitey Forum Veteran

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  15. Apocales 4:35a.m. just one more episode..

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    [IMG]

    Carnal is beaner slang for both brother and friend.

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  16. john z. whitey Forum Veteran

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  17. Ozzy Bon Halen LOLworthy Threadmonkey & Critic Of Texas Dentistry

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  18. Ozzy Bon Halen LOLworthy Threadmonkey & Critic Of Texas Dentistry

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  19. Ozzy Bon Halen LOLworthy Threadmonkey & Critic Of Texas Dentistry

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  20. Ozzy Bon Halen LOLworthy Threadmonkey & Critic Of Texas Dentistry

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    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry...pic_56911891e4b0c8beacf73853?utm_hp_ref=world

    Senor Beaner El Chapo wanted to film a movie about his life so he called El Senor Moonbat Sean Penn and they talkled about it. Soon after he was apprehended. LOL

    http://www.aljazeera.com/news/2016/...ew-helped-catch-el-chapo-160110045037922.html

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