Fitz vs Fokker! Who is the Bar Room Hero?

Discussion in 'The Alley' started by Apocales, May 21, 2017.

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Who would win in a drinking match?

This poll will close on Aug 21, 2100 at 12:12 AM.
Fitz 6 vote(s) 42.9%
Fokker 5 vote(s) 35.7%
Johnson 3 vote(s) 21.4%
  1. Apocales 4:35a.m. just one more episode..

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    :edmonds: vs :fokker:

    Who would win in a drinking match?
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  2. Bluto Drunken lout

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    Fitz can binge drinks likes a good Canuck Man but Ol' Man Fokker :fokker:, jus' keeps rollin' along.
  3. Giada MAGA

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    How old were they when they started drinking?
    What's the longest they've gone without drinking or stayed drunk?
    Fitz says he dries out, but do either of them use other substances?
    Need more info to vote.
  4. Apocales 4:35a.m. just one more episode..

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    @Giada always use your gut feelings to answer each one of those questions. Both started drinking around the age of 12, Fitz dries out once in awhile but that's cause the cheese money runs out, or he spent all his money on other dangerous drugs like pot. Fokker works at Walmart stocking items in the back, so I think he has to be more discreet and responsible, but I think when Walmart gives him paid time off he goes crazy. Word on the street is when Fokker was in Florida he did a 6 day binge of drinking from morning to blackout. Fokker prefers tranny bars but Fitz has been known to frequent gay bars to get free drinks... as far as I know.
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  5. rasputin Forum Veteran

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    Can one pilfer some merchandise while working at Walmart? And why would anyone work at Walmart?
  6. fuz al-nufi Bar Regular

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    most i've ever drank in one sitting was almost an entire 40oz of blanco tequila(i gave a double shot to a friend if i recall correctly) and somewhere between 8-12 cans of piss lager.
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  7. Giada MAGA

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    Work=paycheck.
    I've heard SAMs/Costco pays $17 an hour with benefits.
  8. Giada MAGA

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    You would probably win if you didn't get distracted.
  9. fuz al-nufi Bar Regular

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    fokker wouldn't have to work to be poor if he just went to the doctor and got diagnosed with severe incurable autism. I'd wager the pay and benefits of being an autistic NEET are far greater.
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  10. Apocales 4:35a.m. just one more episode..

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    I don't think it works that way here in the states, or at least just yet. If you guys get gay married in Canada you guys might be able to score some prime mental illness benefits and sweet government cheese though - consider it!
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  11. Neil Pye Forum Veteran

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    Who cares? Both are cautionary tales.
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  12. Man Against Time Black Hole Melchizedek

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    As far as I know, they pay decently within the "shitty retail place" range.
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  13. Giada MAGA

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    Vote!
    Break the tie!
  14. Mandalore in recovery from sobriety

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    Fitz almost certainly gets more money and better benefits for doing nothing than Fokker does for eating shit at WalMart. Only a genuine moron would want to go slave away and count the hours until his next binge if he could simply start as soon as he wakes up at 3pm in the comfort of his own home.

    I know at least one sperg who claims to be schizoid instead of autistic and gets gubmint cheeze for it. It's just surreal to be all whacked on designer drugs and listening to some autistic fucktard literally yelling "I SWEAR I'M SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE! I DON'T HAVE ASPERGERS! I'M SCHIZO! I HEAR VOICES AND EVERYTHING!". He then went on to elaborate about his "delusion" that his mother's boyfriends was climbing in his window at night, fucking him in the ass and then cumming on his face. I imagine that must've put some strain on the relationship, especially after he tried to have the guy arrested.
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  15. Roy Fokker Forum Veteran

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    I yield the field to fuzzball on this one. He has to have two livers to be able to consume the drink as he is wont to do. :O
  16. Roy Fokker Forum Veteran

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    Welfare is a weapon for the lazy and useless to keep the lazy and useless interested in the lazy and useless.
  17. Apocales 4:35a.m. just one more episode..

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    [IMG]
  18. Georg Schoenerer Der Judenkenner

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  19. Bluto Drunken lout

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  20. Giada MAGA

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    I admit it, he's locked in my basement.

    Happy @fuz al-nufi?
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